The Problem of Distraction

My to-do list today seems overwhelming--everywhere I look I see things that need to be done. I need to clean up the kitchen (a usual morning chore--I don't often do dishes at night), I need to work on laundry, I need to finish my sister's birthday present, I need to go through those craft tubs my grandmother gave me, I need to clean my house, I need to work on building my blog, I need to apply for more jobs online, I need to spend time homeschooling my preschooler, etc., and that's just the inside. Outside, I need to rake the front yard (though our leaf fall is more a result of our yearly dry season than colder temperatures), I need to clean out the flower beds of weeds and debris from our many trees and remulch them, I need to clean off the back porch from its accumulated mess and straighten it up.....you get the point.

It doesn't help that I'm ADD, and the neverending list is constantly distracting me from sticking to one task until it's done, the endless list of jobs whirling around in my head until it's enough to make a person dizzy. And I know I'm not the only one; I'm sure anybody that I questioned would probably be able to quote me just as long a to-do list and complain that there is never enough time to get stuff done. And that's the point, isn't it?

Our world is constantly bombarding us with stuff we "have to do", screaming for our attention, sometimes day and night, making us feel guilty because we never seem to catch up. Honestly, my hat is off to all those single parents and working moms out there--it's hard enough for me to stay on top of things, and I'm at home most of the day--how do you do it? Seriously, you have my respect. I know it's not easy, and I suspect that all of us make it through each day by taking stock of what needs to be done, and prioritizing everything else accordingly.

But there's one thing I struggle accomplishing more than anything else on my to-do list, and that is spending quality time with the Lord every single day. It's the most important thing I can do, and yet it sometimes seems the hardest thing to fit in my day. There are days when I even exercise but don't spend time on my devotions, and trust me, I really don't like exercising.😝

When I wake up in the morning and my to-do list is surrounding me everywhere I look, it's hard to stop, breathe and calm my mind with time with Jesus, and yet, that is exactly what I need. You hear so much today about the importance of mindfulness, meditation, taking time to rest your brain; well, that's what my quiet time with God does for me. It rests my mind, gives me time for self-reflection and self-evaluation, and focuses my spirit on what's of eternal significance--people, not work. For me, it's always been easier to focus on work instead of people; I'm extremely task-oriented, which can be a good thing sometimes, but not to the exclusion of those around me. This is why I need to spend time in the Bible and allow the Holy Spirit to continually redirect my heart to focus on what God finds important, not me.

Psalm 63 is a passage that speaks directly to this need: "O God, You are my God! I long for You! My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and parched land where there is no water. Yes, in the sanctuary I have seen You, and witnessed Your power and splendor. Because experiencing Your loyal love is better than life itself, my lips will praise You. For this reason I will praise You while I live; in Your name I will lift up my hands. As if with choice meat You satisfy my soul. My mouth joyfully praises You, whenever I remember You on my bed, and think about You during the nighttime hours. For You are my deliverer; under Your wings I rejoice. My soul pursues You: Your right hand upholds me."

Several phrases in this passage jump out at me: "My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You...Your loyal love is better than life itself...as if with choice meat You satisfy my soul...my soul pursues You: Your right hand upholds me." The picture David portrays is of a deep longing for the presence of the Lord that nothing else can satisfy. Have you ever been there? Ever felt that deep thirst for God, like your spirit is just completely dry?

I can think of a few times in my adult life when I felt that way, when for whatever reason I just got too busy and neglected my time with God to such an extent that it was like He wasn't even a part of it...more to my shame. And when the Holy Spirit finally woke me up to my sin, I remember experiencing that bone-dry "I need to spend time with God right now" kind of feeling. I'm thankful to say that such times always lead me to a renewed interest in reading my Bible, spending time in prayer, etc., but I could wish that the drought was unnecessary. That I could maintain my focus on God wholeheartedly, with a single eye as Jesus talked about in Matt. 6:22-23, but realistically, I know that's not possible. Not that it isn't worth striving towards continually, but I have to be honest with myself--I am a sinner saved by grace, not by anything I can do, because what I can (and do!) do is continually fail.

It is only by God's grace and power that I am able to serve Him as well as I do, and I know I can always do better. But praise the Lord--even when I fail, He is still enough to support me. As Paul told Timothy in II Timothy 2:13, "If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, since He cannot deny Himself" (NET). And that is the point I wanted to get to with this devotional--we all face distractions in our daily walk with Jesus, and, if we're honest, we all can admit to failing in our walk with the Lord, but--praise His holy name!--our failure does not keep us from having a relationship with the Savior, for when we fail, He is always ready to pick up the slack and pull us back to Him. He is faithful even when I am not, and for that I praise Him.

Sometimes in life I get so far from where I'm supposed to be. 

I lose my way, forget to pray, and then I cannot see.

Sometimes in all the midst of things I really have to do

I lose You, Lord; I can't find You, Lord. Where are You?

I'm right here beside you, holding your hand.

I'm right here beside you, helping you stand.

Though you may not feel Me, I'm drawing near.

I'm right here beside you, waiting for you to hear.

I'm trying, Lord, to see You more, but where is all the time?

I need You more than I did before; I feel I've lost my line.

My time with You is barely through when I have to go; 

Please come with me. Be near to me. Let me know

You're right here beside me, holding my hand.

You're right here beside me, helping me stand.

Though I may not feel You, You're drawing near.

You're right here beside me, waiting for me to hear.

He's right here beside you, holding your hand.

He's right here beside you, helping you stand.

Though you may not feel Him, He's drawing near.

He's right here beside you, waiting for you to hear.

I'm right here beside you, waiting for you to hear.

--Julia Chastain, 2003